what was that?

after spending hours of today sobbing and having a panic attack ove the fact that AJ had summoned me to meet his lawyer. I walk in to see him looking quite solemn. He turns to me and says, "Is this Really what you want??" And I have to say, I wanted to say no out of habit maybe? I fought it and said " yeah, I do because we are in a pattern and I do not believe it will be broken." It was a lame answer. but i think it was the best one. I hate it when he does his sad face. He did it the last time I got serious about leaving and I gave in...Now look at us? I just do not see him changing. Plus the fact that he has been nasty and not returning phone calls and just plain not giving a crap tells me a lot about him. He obviously doesn't care for me enough to change.