Monday, August 11, 2008

This is What Happens.....

The morning after is just like anyother, full of doubt. I am almost sure that I will be losing friend. Also, I am feeling unsure about most everything. Who is right and who is Wrong?? This stupid war that has been ripping me apart inside has escaped. If only I could mash them all together and make my own religion. Unfortunately I cannot. Then I think "what is so big about religion anyway?! WHO CARES!" I'm not a very Good Mormon. I would make a better whatever I was before. At least I know what I am talking about that way.

1 comment:

Heaths said...

Nicole~you are going to have to try harder than that!!! If you think that you can get rid of me because of your doubt...you are wrong. That is not what true friends are about!!! But thanks for the vote of confidence!!!!!!!!! I think that you are a very good LDS women, you have more desire than anyone I have ever known. I have admired you from the begining and I wished I had that drive that you had. You are a good person and I know that you know the church is true. You can run away from it and see what happiness it brings you, but I don't think that is the smartest thing that you have done. You have felt the spirit and bore your testimony to me, I guess now it's my turn...I know without a doubt that the church is true. I would be forever lost without the gospel in my life. I have been helped and stregthened by the trials that have been given to me. I am forever grateful for the atonement and for the plan of salvation in my life. I am grateful that Christ died and suffered for me all my sins and for the sins of the world so I can repent and live with God agian. I know that through Heavenly Fathers plan we can be with our families forever. I know the spirit that I have felt in the Temple is true. Have I ever had doubts, YES, but I can tell you that the only time I have ever had doubts was when I was not living the way I knew I should. I was not happy during those times. Being a member of the church my whole life does not mean that I automatically have a testimony, I had to gain one just as you did. That probably did not really truly happen until after I was married. I know that I have a long ways to go, but for now I can only do my best, not someone else's, but my own. I hope you realize the courage it has taken me to post this, but I think that as a friend you are worth my humilation. I know you'll be just fine, and I'll be here for you if you let me. Nobody is judging you, not even our bishop. He is only there to help you. Your friend always, HH