Compromise and Comparisons.

Yesterday I discovered that it really isn't bad to tell the person you are mad at that you are mad at them, and why you are that way. How Bizzare. Today I discovered that I am somehow competing with something that looks a whole lot like a comparison. I am NOT going to COMPETE and DO NOT want to be COMPARED. Especially when what I am being compared to shows up and doesn't leave for over an hour. "Please take this cup from me...." Gosh, I have this undeniable urge to try and fix it/her. I have ISSUES. Also today I decided that I am in love with the farm boy driving me around in his daddys 10 wheeler during corn harvest in a white t-shirt and wranglers. That happy boy who knew nothing about life. That happy boy that turned into a very angry young man. My heart weeps for him. My heart weeps for his family that I love. I cannot tell him this of course. But gosh, I know for a fact it is true, I am in love with those happy memories of him however few they are. But despise those unhappy memories of every day we lived together. Talk about contradictory. With everything in me, I want to see him happy again, I want to see him smile and be carefree in a good way. I hope he gets there again.