I'm Just a Girl...for once...

So, Yesterday I discovered that A.) I AM CRAZY and B.) I AM ACTING LIKE A 12 YEAR OLD SCHOOL GIRL. In regards to option A. I told him about that one-he took it in a bad way at first but then I explained that it's just all the uncertainties and things that make this rollercoaster like thing that has bcome my daily life. I see him and it's all "YAY!" and then I am all "yay!" untill the afternoon and then it goes "WHAT AM I DOING???!!! along with some UNCERTAINTY and some GUILT about that fact that I do Like him as well as the I do not know what else to describe it but perhaps PARANOIA or jealousy????" And then I get to talk to or visit him and it's all "YAY" again. Now, the reason why this is making me so gosh darn NUTS is because I am used to being like this ___________ NOW I am like this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ WHERE DID THE _________ GO?????!!!! I do not do well like this and I feel so out of control it is just insane that I am letting this have such an effect on me and seem almost unable to keep my "Cool". I am supposed to be doing this to SOMEONE ELSE!!! NOT the OTHER WAY AROUND!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, so I explained this quite embarassing fact. I also added in that I do NOT do this, I DO NOT act like a crazy little school girl with her first crush. This Craziness is what caused me to OPEN UP to Heidi and I shouldn't have and Heidi does not care to know it but, I am OBVIOUSLY NUTS RIGHT NOW so you will have to EXCUSE my behavior. I will try not to be such a "GIRL" from now on...and BTW what is this "leg humping"???? story?? among other things???