Being Realistic.

Now that the Silly me has left and the over-thinking me is back I am really starting to wonder what I am doing. Sometimes I think it is for the best that I just quit this whole Brady Bunch Thing, the fact that my mother does not approve is also wearing. I know it looks bad, no one needs to tell me that. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that this is a definate adjustment. I am used to lack of communication, I am used to Negetivity, I am used to being Used. In a weird way I am missing AJ in retrospect, I kinda miss him not talking, not getting in my way, and just expecting sex in return pretty much. That was SOOOOO much Easier. I seem to go in waves, I like him, or I just want him to disappear. In some ways I do feel like I am kind of being used for what I have I am not so stupid as to think that if I were not so successful that I would have much of anyone "come-a Callin". I just think this whole "playing house" thing is a mistake and I thought that I did not want to do something like this again. Whatever happened to normal dating??? Or does that die when you have children??? I should so not be even writing any of this down because SOME ONE will probably tell Kelly I dislike him and then I will have to deal with that drama. However, I do believe it is smart of me to be thinking about these things, I am not some dumb teenager with nothing to lose, I have a lot, I have kids, and I have worked VERY HARD to get where I am now. Though it may not look like much.